Monday, May 23, 2011

good mommie

I do not feel like I have been a good mommie lately. I am cranky and crabby, the house is a wreck, I do not want to cook and I just want to run away. Thankfully Ben is now done with the interpreting program and will be moving on to the big school hopefully next spring. I am just tired of Ben constantly being gone and me doing all of the parenting and cleaning. I wanna play. Not that Ben gets to play, but he gets to be a grown up and away from crying whiny babies.

E has been working on cutting some teeth. today I noticed one has finally broke the surface of her gums, to my surprise it is near the back and feels like it is one of the big teeth. No wonder she has been so fussy. I know the first tooth is hard but to cut a back tooth first, ow.

L is working on the 2 year molars and I am hoping she will be potty training soon. I think the sooner I get on a good schedule for her and not so crabby she will gladly get rid of the diapers.

It is hard to believe that my little girl will be 2 in a couple of weeks, the time has just flown by, I keep looking at her and wondering where my little girl went. I am not sure what to do for the birthday this year. Should we have a party this year? seems silly to me to have a party every year. I love my birthday and I think it is awesome to share it with my little miss. I have always loved my birthday and wanted to celebrate it with the world(my world), since having L I do not feel that there can ever be anything better than the gift she has been in my life and arriving just on my birthday. Awesome.

So on to my musings about being a good mommie. And yes I have purposely chosen to misspell mommy, I like the ie ending better.

What does it take to be a good mommie?
At a glance one might think it is all the surface things, a clean home, beautiful meals, designer clothes for mom and baby, fancy house, all the baby gadgets, and patience.
Well I do not have any of these things.
I have decided that it takes the willingness to put up with a messy home while taking care of the needs of your child, in fact a little of seeing the world through your child's eyes. What is important, not the color of the sofa, but the bounce you get when you jump on it.

it takes helping little hands while they learn to help you with the chores, making the cleanup twice as long.

Good food, not always the most nutritious, but made for bringing the family together.

I may have designer clothes, by me. and for my little kidlets too. I actually feel bad to see my girls running around in clothing that I have not made, except for jeans (I do not want to sew jeans).

I want a home that my children want to be in. this is not the size or decor, it is the feeling of peace, comfort, acceptance, love, strength, fun and laughter.

I am not a patient woman, in fact I am quite the control freak. I try to hide it but it is always there. I want things to go my way in my time frame. I do not know how to be more patient. I have always joked that I am not a Doctor, I do not have patients.

I want to have a calm spirit and be someone my children want to seek out and spend time with. I want to be able to teach them about God and Jesus, and loving everyone. I fall so short of my expectations of being a mother. I look at others and think that they really have it and I do not. I keep wanting to make new clothes for my girls, because that is one thing I am good at. I want to be good at being their mommie. I guess that would also mean, understanding what they need, loving them every minute, correcting and guiding them to good choices, feeding them, clothing them, loving their father, playing with them, singing to them, making a mess and cleaning up together. and so many more things. I hope that I can be a good mom. I am here, I will do what I can.

So if you read this what is a good mommie?


  1. Your description of a good mommie sounds about right. Love them, enjoy them, teach and guide them. Provide them with a safe haven. All the things we see and sometimes measure ourselves by the clean house and nice clothes etc are nice and worthy, but not the most important. Keep pursuing your good mommie goals - and be patient and kind to yourself as well as your family.

  2. To me? A good mommy is all of the things I am not (hence why I am not a mommy... :D). These are all the things I wish I was, so I could be a mommy. Things that I need to work on:
    A mommy is someone who is patient, loves her babies no matter what and understands that they are children and make silly mistakes. I think a mommy is selfless. I think she is someone who wants to be there for her children and provide a comfortable home for her children and their friends. I think you have more of these qualities than you think, in fact, I know you do. You're a great mommy. Maybe I can take the girls some time during the summer so you can get a little breaky break? (I would say this week, but it's going to be super hectic in the house with Adrian moving out and me moving into the master bedroom.)

  3. Everyone has days where they feel like they've been a bad mommy. Heck I have months sometimes. But then I take a step back to reflect. Are my children happy? do they know they are loved? are they sheltered, fed and clothed? what have they learned about God and Jesus Christ? I have to remind myself that my children spend more time with me than anyone else so the good qualities that I see in them are most likely picked up from me.

    Sometimes people who know my children need to point it out to me, other times I see it myself. Sunday I had one of those moments when I realized that my children are ALWAYS wanting to help people, not just at home but any time they see a need. When Sarah Lynne lost her little boy Joseph wanted us to teach her about the resurrection and that families can be together forever. It's amazing how much our children pick up from us even when we don't think they are watching/listening or we don't think we're doing anything right.

    God knew we wouldn't/couldn't be perfect mommies, but he entrusted us with his children anyway knowing that we would become better because of our children.

  4. I think being a good mommy is mostly just giving your time to your kids. They aren't going to necessarily remember if the house was clean or what you fed them for dinner, but they will remember the little moments where you read them a story or just gave them a few minutes of your time to listen to something they feel is important.

    I'm not a naturally patient person either, so I definitely feel your frustration. One of my top resolutions every year is to become more patient. Keep in mind the one of the major things being a parent teaches you is how to be patient. Keep practicing and by the time you have grandkids you will be one of the most patient and laid back people around. ;)

  5. I think a good mommie is something we strive for each day. We will never be perfect at it, but as long as we are trying and recognizing when we can be better, and then hopefully putting it into action and implementing some of our ideas, then we will be better mommies.

    I have the hardest time with patience. I will get so frustrated with Chloe's repeated attempts at climbing on the kitchen counter when we constantly tell her not to, or when she throws a tantrum over not getting a cookie. It is not easy. Patience for Aaron getting through school has been a big one. It seems so far away, but then sometimes I kick myself because I know I am wasting so much time being impatient when I know it' just few years down the road, and I know I may waste them with being grumpy., me, all the other ladies that have commented, and many many other mommies have the same feelings I am sure! Being a mommie is hard work!